I’m Jessica, a wearer of many hats who is lucky enough to call Long Island, NY home. I am a devoted wife, avid animal lover, and all around goofball. I love the beach, music, cooking, and anything pink, and I am obsessed with traveling as much as I possibly can! Welcome to my online time capsule, I am so glad you are here :)  read more...

Jealous much?!

Jealous much?!
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being jealous is not something that i am used to. my parents raised me to appreciate myself and what i have in life. my husband has always made me feel so special and jealousy is never really an issue…much (don’t forget i am a spanish woman!). so whyyyyyy do i break out in tears every single time i see a pregnant woman?!?!?!

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it took some time to get over the miscarriage a few months ago, but i did. after taking a few days to myself to cry and wonder why, i was in a much better place. the support of my husband, friends, and family was amazing and got me thru it all…

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pregnant women on the tv, friends and family announcing new additions to their family, articles about being pregnant – its all around me! i really thought i was ok with everything, but my heart and my head are having a serious battle right now 🙁

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i am not looking for sympathy because as i said, i accepted my own situation and know deep down that it will happen when it’s supposed to…i just dont know how to control these jealous feelings and outbursts!!! i know i can’t be the only woman experiencing this – help!

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45 Responses to Jealous much?!

  1. Cary says:

    I wish I had the words to share that would help, but I can’t even imagine the emotions you experienced. I understand you are not looking for sympathy but still want to say how sorry I am. I hope that’s okay.
    Cary recently posted…Random Reason #34My Profile

  2. Oh girl! I know it’s hard and I’m so sorry! We had a lot of trouble getting our little guy and I remember having random breakdowns. Know there are people that are there for you and sometimes tears do help heal, even if others say they don’t! 🙂
    Britney @ The Princess & Her Cowboys recently posted…The Wednesday Roundup #34My Profile

  3. Censie says:

    Jealousy is such a hard battle to fight. Everyone finds themselves jealous over something or someone. I hope that you can find peace and understanding with your situation. I am sorry that you are going through this all. Head up!
    Censie recently posted…Our Movie Night Pop SecretMy Profile

  4. Jose Rivera says:

    I mean, it’s normal to feel like that. The important thing is not to let it consume you and sink you into this wave of jealousy and depression. It’s totally understandable what you’re going through.

    The good news is, you still have options. It’s not like it’s set in stone you guys can’t have a kid. There’s always adoption. There’s wards of the state but aside from Batman comics, I’m not totally familiar with how that works.

    The point is, yea you guys aren’t out yet. There’s still time and there’s still chances. If you were like 60, I’d say you were screwed but thankfully you’re not and Greg isn’t so you guys still got plenty of chances.

  5. Rachel says:

    I think it’s totally natural to feel that way, especially when you are trying to get pregnant or had a miscarriage recently! I used to cry in the shower over wanting to get pregnant, too. I don’t have any advice, but know that you aren’t the only one who has felt that way!
    Rachel recently posted…Outfit of the Week: You are My Sunshine!My Profile

  6. Camille says:

    There are some things that I think I’m completely over as well than bam! Its awful. I think there are some things we will always grieve and its totally okay to cry- cry now and it’ll be easier next time but never really easy. Best wishes.
    Camille recently posted…What’s for Dinner: Theme DaysMy Profile

  7. It’s normal human nature to feel jealous. Give yourself time to heal. You have the gift of writing. I found it to be the best therapy 🙂
    Manal The Go Go Girl recently posted…STOP killing our children!My Profile

  8. tara pittman says:

    I have 5 kids and I still get jealous over pregnant ladies. I miscarried 2 times so I know the pain of wanting a baby.
    tara pittman recently posted…When Life Hands You Pears Make Caramel Pear CrispMy Profile

  9. Stacey says:

    I had two miscarriages before I carried my oldest to term so I completely understand your feelings. Do not beat yourself up over it … we are only human and emotions are part of that.
    I lost my jealousy after going on to have two healthy daughters. Your time will come when the timing and circumstances are right for you.
    Stacey recently posted…Review of Don’t Judge a Book by its CoverMy Profile

  10. Erica Manoz says:

    I’ve never been throught something like that and my heart goes out to you. But I have been in a situation where I think I’m ok about something that has happened and then I find myself still jealous or bitter or angry. What’s good though, is that you recognize the feeling and I think it really just boils down to time. Time to fully come to terms what’s happened and be healed. Hugs!
    Erica Manoz recently posted…Blog Hop: Being a #Mom is ToughMy Profile

  11. Kungphoo says:

    There really are no words that i could say that would help you out. sometimes you just need to let it all out

  12. Lauren says:

    So very sorry for your loss!!!
    Lauren recently posted…Healthy Chicken Summer SaladMy Profile

  13. I wish I had the words to help you through this tough time. I will settle on, I am so sorry for your loss.
    Christi at SexyMoxieMama recently posted…Wisdom Wednesday: BraveryMy Profile

  14. Jeanae says:

    I wish that I had wise, comforting words for you. Unfortunately, words will never do. You are in my thoughts & prayers for everything to go well as you & your husband try again.
    Jeanae recently posted…LEGO® Kidsfest DallasMy Profile

  15. Lenze says:

    I am sorry for your loss. Jealous is understandable and a natural emotion in such circumstances. Kudos to you for not letting jealous consume. God bless you!
    Lenze recently posted…Indianapolis Studio Movie Grill Summer SeriesMy Profile

  16. Jenn says:

    I think we all deal with jealousy at some point, it’s part of our nature. So sorry about your loss.
    Jenn recently posted…5 Windows Phones Apps I Can’t Live Without #WindowsChampions #LumiaMy Profile

  17. Laura funk says:

    I am so very sorry for your loss. You and I both know that nothing I say makes your pain and your heart heal. jealously is completely normal and part of the grieving process. You will get your rainbow baby!
    Laura funk recently posted…Colorado Renaissance FestivalMy Profile

  18. Aww I am so sorry for you 🙁 I know you said you’re not looking for sympathy but I do feel really sorry for you. I think it’s very normal for you to be feeling jealous #WeekendBlogHop
    Catriona Stephen recently posted…Family Photo Friday Week #23My Profile

  19. Elizabeth says:

    I really get this. It is so hard to not feel jealous when someone else gets something you are yearning for so deeply. I like to call it a different word, though. Instead of jealousy, maybe it is just a yearning for yourself. You can be happy for someone else and still feel sad for yourself. I know I have to think of it like that often. Best wishes!! Know that you are not alone! P.S. Check out this quote by Elizabeth Edwards — it may help you “adjust your sails”. I have to adjust mine all the time! 🙂
    Elizabeth recently posted…She Stood in the Storm: Free PrintableMy Profile

  20. Kimberly says:

    I am sorry that you are going through this and I can only attempt to imagine how you feel. I understand the being jealous part though. I have a 4yr old son but being a single mother and seeing tons of my friends that are married and a whole of other people as well makes me jealous. But it’s not for the baby part it’s the, they are in a happy relationship and are having an amazing experience together where as I have been single for 4 yrs and went through my pregnancy in a horrible relationship. It’s normal to feel jealous even if it feels uncomfortable. But I do hope that one day you will not be jealous and have what you are hoping for.
    Kimberly recently posted…Disney’s “Planes: Fire & Rescue” Movie ReviewMy Profile

  21. Considerer says:

    So sorry for your loss. That sucks bigtime. And the jealousy and hurt and the ‘should have been me’ is absolutely, ENTIRELY normal. Because it should have been but the world’s a mess and sometimes babies just don’t grow the way they should, and it hurts and it’s awful and nothing will change that.

    But with time, gradually, the intensity will change. It’s still painful, but less….fall off a cliff when it happens. That said, I saw a lady push her tiny, sleeping son past me in his pram at the supermarket yesterday, and his sweet, bare, chubby feet were just poking out in mid-air, sweetest thing ever, and I nearly cried, so…

    But no. It *does* become more manageable. Give it time. Grief happens differently for everyone, and it’s always a hard ride. Just…accept yourself, as you are, and your feelings. Don’t try to question them or change them, or wish they were different – they just are how they are.
    Considerer recently posted…Ten Things of Thankful #57My Profile

  22. I don’t call that feeling jealousy; I call it pain. Pain of losing someone very precious to you.

    I wish there were a magic bullet that would take it away, but I know that’s impossible. You’re in my thoughts.
    Suzanne Lucas recently posted…The Great Duchess Hair Twirl and Four Other Life-Changing News Stories You May Have Missed This YearMy Profile

  23. Really sorry to hear about your loss.

    Perfectly natural to feel the way you are feeling. My youngest is 6 months and I am very jealous knowing that ‘everyone else’ is having babies and I can’t. I can’t have any more due to the risk to my health.

    Keep your chin up and everything will be ok

    Thank you for linking up with the #WeekendBlogHop

    Laura x x x
    My Life As A Mummy recently posted…Silent Sunday – 20/07/2014My Profile

  24. I am sorry about your loss. I wish I had comforting words of some sort. xx

  25. I am so sorry for your loss. I’m not a mother and I don’t want to be so I’m not going to pretend to know what you are going through. However, I do have Lupus and I struggle with jealousy when I see someone that is healthy.
    Crystal Duncan (@FindingCrystal) recently posted…Beauty Box 5 July 2014 ReviewMy Profile

  26. Lauren says:

    What you’re feeling is totally normal. I went through the same thing and I know a ton of other women who have too.
    It’s okay to feel those things and I can tell from your positive attitude that you don’t sink into it so far that you have trouble coming back out.
    Praying for peace for you and that it will happen sooner rather than later!
    Lauren recently posted…Week 26: Poetry in MotionMy Profile

  27. Leslie says:

    As you said, everything happens for a reason. I had a miscarriage a few years ago & it devistated me. That is how I found that I had cancer but now I don’t know if I can even have kids. I’m glad your husband and friends are supportive. Just be patient, your day will come.
    Leslie recently posted…DIY Rice BagMy Profile

  28. Jen says:

    Jess, I am so sorry for your loss. I think the feelings you are feeling are totally normal. My situation had a completely different outcome, but when my daughter was born 13 weeks early I would be at the hospital every day and every day I would see these hugely pregnant women and feel as if I’d been robbed of finishing my pregnancy. I knew it wasn’t rational but emotions rarely are. You are NOT alone, that’s for sure.

  29. I think it’s perfectly understandable to be jealous of someone who has what you want – especially when that is something as massive and important as a child. I would be more surprised if you said you weren’t jealous to be honest! I wish I had some sage words of advice but anything I came out with would sound a lot like platitudes so I won’t.
    Thanks for linking up with #WeekendBlogHop!

  30. This is such a good reminder! Thanks for joining us for Hump Day Happenings!
    Jenna @ A Savory Feast recently posted…Hump Day Happenings #20My Profile

  31. Lisa says:

    It takes time to get over something as heartbreaking as a miscarriage. I’m so sorry you went through that. That being said, I’ve totally had baby envy (not so much pregnancy envy because I hate being sick and uncomfortable). I went through a period of time where I wasn’t meeting the right kind of men and thought I would NEVER settle down and have kids; thus, the baby envy. Then I got a puppy and lost thousands of hours of sleep and decided I wanted to stay as far away from babies as I could. LOL (I still want one, but my puppy definitely doubled as birth control.) Stopping by from Hump Day Happenings.
    Lisa recently posted…I’m Scared of The SadnessMy Profile

  32. I’ve never experienced what you are going through, but I’ve had friends that have. I think it’s completely normal to feel the way you do. You lost something dear to you.
    I pray continued peace for your heart.
    Kendwy @mindofkiwi recently posted…#100summermilesMy Profile

  33. Bobbie says:

    I am so sorry! I take courage from your attitude! Thanks for linking up to the Creative Exchange Link party. This weeks link party is just getting started:
    http://www.avisiontoremember.com/2014/07/the-creative-exchange-link-party.html
    Bobbie recently posted…The Creative Exchange Link PartyMy Profile

  34. Megan Walker says:

    I totally understand. I am itching to get pregnant, but my husband and I have decided to wait until next year when his first year of residency is mostly over. That way, he will have more time to be involved in our baby’s life. Jealously is a hard monster to fight.
    Megan Walker recently posted…One for the Win ColumnMy Profile

  35. Kristie Hill says:

    I don’t have any advice, but just wanted to let you know that I too struggle with jealousy. I think it’s a woman thing.
    Kristie Hill recently posted…How to optimize your blog images for search engines (SEO).My Profile

  36. Keep on working, great job!
    China and Hong Kong Information recently posted…China and Hong Kong InformationMy Profile

  37. Erica Brooks says:

    Have you tried prayer? Praying and journaling have helped me to get over many difficult issues.
    Erica Brooks recently posted…Let’s Talk Health: Essential Oils to Help Curb Cravings and AddictionsMy Profile

  38. Melissa says:

    Grief is hard. You are entitled the the feelings you feel in order to heal, and with time you will <3 Hugs to you!
    Melissa recently posted…9 Things Rhode Islanders Will Never Understand About Market BasketMy Profile

  39. Carissa says:

    I totally understand! It took 6 years to conceive my daughter. That 6 years was much easier than experiencing a miscarriage 10 months ago with my second child. I always remind myself that someone elses happiness does not take mine away. I want others to be happy for me when good things come my way. There is not a limited supply of babies coming to the world every year with someone else is taking my chance for one. There are days when it is tough and I don’t want to be happy for anyone else. It’s easier to be sad and feel sorry for myself. And that’s ok. But I’m having more good days than bad and being hopeful that things will be better in the future.
    <3
    Carissa recently posted…The One Book I Wish I Had When I First Began BloggingMy Profile

  40. liz says:

    I have never been a jealous person.

  41. Eileen says:

    I am at a loss for words to say. I can feel your hurt and it is just normal for you to feel jealous. Trust and believe that you will have your own little angel in God’s time. Sending you hugs from my side of the world.
    Eileen recently posted…Visiting One Hundred Twenty Three Islands In One DayMy Profile

  42. We are only human. Condolences and hugs.

  43. Shelly says:

    Thank you for being so transparent.

    As I sneak off to take a shower and lament the fact that I will not be able to shave my legs or armpits before my 3 month old wakes up for his nap, I will think of all the women who wish to have such a trivial problem.

    (((hugs)))
    Shelly recently posted…On IntuitionMy Profile

  44. Julie says:

    I don’t know if this helps at all but I feel ridiculously jealous of people who have very elderly parents after my Mum died aged only 67. It feels completely irrational but I can’t help it, the best I can manage is to try not to show it and hope it will pass eventually. Sometimes life just sucks and we journey through as best we can. You feel how you feel and it’s ok, you can’t control how you feel, you can only control what you do. Sending you hugs from the UK
    Julie recently posted…The Blogland Tour continuesMy Profile

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    Télécharger Le rôle de ma vie le film complet recently posted…Télécharger Le rôle de ma vie le film completMy Profile

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